Something Better Something Worse
by Vintageroses158
Summary: She only meant to escape her personal hell hiding using an item gifted by a goddess. Since Drow are not welcome on the surface in Ferun.She didn't mean to become the inquisitor while hiding underneath a dead womens face or to bring her troubles to Thedas. Even though corypheus is dead and the hole in the sky has healed. With rumors of war and her past, her troubles not over.
1. The Wonders Of The Worlds

_Our world is split up in to quite a few landmasses. Thedas a land that lies towards the north. A land filled with magic, wonder, and strife. Elves come in one variety, lost their history, and are treated like second hand citizens. Mages and magic are seen with fear. Humans spread bloodshed and abuse power. Dwarfs have a system so set in tradition that many suffer underneath it. It is a wonder how the place has not fallen apart yet._

_There is a land mass towards the south, across the great sea filled with magic, wonder, and strife. Things are more complex with more cities , more types of creatures and more types of magic. Preconceptions of other races or from different places run strong. Elves don't come in one flavour but, neither do dwarfs or other creatures. Magic is more celebrated then feared in most cases. War is carried out in so many ways. This place is called Ferun._

_Creatures from each land mass tend to found only there. Elves from Thedas remain on Thedas and don't learn much about those in the south. Neither do the humans, the dwarfs or most beings for the matter._

_In general the residents of each keeps to themselves. Their issues contained by the lands they live in. This works fine in theory at least, but in practice it leaves much to be desired._

\- **An excerpt from "The wonders of the worlds" written by Sir McBane.**

note

this story is posted on wattpad and Ao3


	2. Moonlight

No one said that the inquisitor was what anyone expected. On the outside she was indeed elvish pointed ears and all . But, she was strange in her behavior at times. Some things that seemed mundane she behaved like she had never seen them before. She seemed amazed at colors, plants, and animals, saying many times that she didn't have those where she was born. She would lie on her back and stare at the stars or climb trees unnecessarily.

She was also reckless and bold, jumping from high places because it was faster to get down and ignoring the risk or any injuries. She always ran ahead looking and seeking for something to discover. She was such a curious little thing. Determined too! If she found a shard and she wanted that shard she would get that damn shard. Even if it took five hours and her climbing up the side of a mountain regardless of her party's protests. To others, She was either cagey, dismissive and unapproachable or flirty and seeking to enjoy toying with people.what an inquisitor she was.

This inquisitor at the end of the events that happened because of the breech that split the sky open . She stood now underneath the scar in the night sky. Her face upturned as she sat in the grass. She was away from skyhold, by herself with only the full moon for company.

A light wind blew loosening a few strands of her straight red- gold hair from the black braided cord that secured a simple bun. She looked down at the ground where a plate with a simple meal of rabbit and root vegetables and two goblets lay. One was filled with water and the other wine. She picked up the one with water and took a sip. Then she looked at the reflection staring back at her.

Her thin face was almost gaunt, something common to most elves here. Her eyes were large and round and deep green. Her gold vallasin stood out on olive skin..

She sighed "My goddess, I am sorry I could not come to you for so long and that I have not been myself "

She stood up, the fabric of the white hooded cloak seemed to whisper in the silence with her movement.

"Tonight dark dancer I come to you as myself,as May'dra. Tonight my hunt was well and now I offer it to you, along with a song from my heart"

She then undid the clasp that held that fine white cloak together on her body. It dropped to the ground leaving her bare.

She then began to sing, it was a song with few words, erie and lovely and in her mother tongue. As she sang she removed the cord holding her hair up and as soon as the cord left her hair the cord turned into a silver ribbon. Her hair slowly began turning silver and curly. Her skin darkened to a blue-black. she knew her eyes were turning blood red, they became tapered at the ends in an almond shape. Her face filling out, then the angled features she had been born with return. Her skin was no longer smooth, from her shoulders to her tailbone she was covered in scars. The same went for the front of her body from her collarbone down to her hips.

As she sung the ribbon began to glow like moonlight and so did her hair.Her voice carried further than it should have being that her voice was not normal gift. If she wanted to, as she learned as a child she could even weave magic into her voice . "A gift from the goddess" the priestess said. "A good way to get killed " said her mother. It was why she rarely sung around others, even though she knew she had a lovely voice.

There were very few words to her song but the hardest part was the melody. It was intricate and weaved in and out of notes creating ethereal sound.

She sung and sung and stopped when her throat felt raw and she smiled. Then she closed her eyes and the silver ribbon turned into a practical black braided cord. She then tied her waist length silver hair into a low bun . Shutting her eyes again, she willed the magic from the ribbon the to shift her features . back into the image she had before. Red-gold hair, green eyes, pale smooth skin and all.

She picked up her cloak and clasped it around her neck and turned away to the direction of skyhold.

She was no longer May'dra, she was now Maevera


	3. Conversation

"After the shit show with the sky splitting open and crapping out dark spawn and demons galore. Thedas is getting more attention from other parts of the world. Especially that Ferun place. These foreigners can't be satisfied with minding their damn business." said a barrel chested man, blond man.

He may have been slightly tipsy or slightly drunk for he was loose at the tongue. With every few words that came out of mouth he gestured with the hand that held his ale in an exaggerated manner. This caused the liquid to slosh and splatter everywhere.

"I disagree" said one of the four men at the table. He was lanky and greasy haired but he had vibrant green eyes.

"I would argue it isn't just the hole in the sky. They were interested since the first blights but had their own issues to attend to. From what I heard life there is very complicated. Though, you can't deny that now since the sky is mended they are coming here in greater numbers."

"yeah, well they can keep their damn numbers to themselves. Maker knows what type of trouble they will bring."

"what do you mean?"

The blond man stared at lanky one like he had two heads." Do you know what fuckin' comes out of that place? You have creatures that could pass as darkspawn trying to talk to you like normal folk. Elves that believe they are kings and queens. You have demon children and dragon men and worse. Besides They are too curious about us, they think we are something that need a deciperin'. If it were up to me I would run them through quick. But, I must admit they do bring gold and well, business is business. "

\- **Conversation overheard in a tavern in Fereldin .**


	4. The Two Liars

**May'dra**

The guards gave Maevera slight nods of their heads as she passed back in to skyhold. To which she gave a curt one back. They had grown accustomed to her unusual habits, most likely chalking it up to her "dalishness". They were interested she knew but didn't pry out of respect.

It was always disheartening to pretend she was darthiir. No, they called them elvhen here. Either way she hated it! Going back to this form, this mask, made it feel like she was giving up who she was. Many times when she was alone and was able to slip back into herself. She would get caught up in memories -good and bad - that seemed so distant now. Somethings that almost seeming like it happened to another person She didn't feel like herself anymore. It made for sleepless and stressful nights and worse mornings.

She walked through the main hall only stopping when she arrived at the Herald's rest. Slipping inside of her chambers she bolted the door that let directly into her room. She took off her cloak and folded it and laying it on her vanity. Without looking up she said

"No greeting then? I should have known you would find your way here."

A deep chuckle erupted in the room. She could see him clearly as her kind could see in the dark, very well in fact. But she knew he could see her now pale skin and red hair from the light of the moon shining through the window. He stood up and walked towards her, gently he pushed her slightly until she was leaning heavily on the vanity. Her hips and body lining up with his much larger one.

"I figured you wouldn't mind some company tonight" he said as he stroked her face.

Of course he would know she thought but she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing surprise on her face. She raised an eyebrow.

"So you assumed I wanted to see you? A grin was on his face as he grabbed at her narrow waist. He bent down slightly, kissing her down her jaw line onto her neck. A moan escaped her lips. "Nah, even so good sex can be a good deciding factor of weather you want to see someone"

_uln'hyrr_. She thought ,_you knew_.

He looked at her face eyes never moving from hers. Ever so gently he undid the cord that held her hair up and removed it. When she no longer looked like whom she was supposed to be. His lips were on hers, his tongue in her mouth. Not to long after her clothing was off and so was his.

Tonight may just end up being fun she thought.

**The Iron Bull**

He gently put one large hand on the shoulder of her sleeping form. She was small and delicate looking like a fairy in one of the stories his tama would tell him when he was younger. Yet, she was in reality she was sturdier than most qunari he had met in his life.

"Kadan"

"Kadan.. "

"Nau" her voice came out muffled but she didn't move.

"Kadan, Boss ...you have boss stuff to do" He shook her."Get that fine ass of yours up."

"Dorn inbau phor phlar Lolth ssinssrickla"

She mumbled in drow speech as she called it and buried her face deeper in to the pillows and pulling covers over her head. Her silver hair still poked out at the top of her makeshift cocoon.

After a moment her breathing slowed again and she was falling back to sleep. He chuckled and gently pushed back some of the sheets and then lightly put his hand on the exposed part of her graceful neck. As soon as she did that she shot up, the knife she kept under her pillow seemed to materialize in her hand. Words that were probably curses in her mother tongue poured out of her mouth. Then she saw him. Her eyes then focused and she realized who it was.

He smirked at her "I can definitely tell that was not anything that you normally would say when you are in bed with me. Usually there is a lot more moaning involved"

She threw a pillow at his face, which he swatted out the way with ease.

"Dossta waela !" He was grinning wildly now, he did his job well.

The covers around her thrown is disarray the knife sill in hand was held tightly. She was breathing a bit heavy and her muscles were tense. She put the knife down on her lap ,She glared at him. Red eyes that would unnearve many bored into him.

Sure she was not pale and red headed but she was very attractive. Even he had to admit that.

"What in the nine hells possessed you to do that." He shrugged

" Does it matter? its not like you could do much with that tooth pick". She bared her teeth at him.

"You say that now... "

"Besides who doesn't like a little fight in the morning, gets the blood pumping, may cause us to be delayed it bit of we get distracted with other things."

She didn't respond to that. Instead she said "what was so important that you had to wake me up like that?"

She yawned and stretched her limbs in a way that reminded him of a cat. A black and silver wild cat. Yes, cat was fitting description. As she stretched he couldn't help but stare appreciably at the view this gave on different contours of her body.

"Sore?"

"Never and don't change the subject"

"Your reaction was unexpected, you don't normally do that around me. " He ran a finger down her neck. He could feel her shiver slightly at his touch but, her face was stoic .There it was. Cat no, more like a kitten .

"Yes because normally I can see the person doing it and I know he is a complete idiot. Ussta khal'abbil"

"I have no idea the last bit you said but, that sounded hot"

She gave him a look that translated as you really are a fucking idiot.

She continued " Normally parzdiamos, some of them are known in general to have a thing for assassinations and murder. "

"para- what ?"

She played with the end of her hair "Translation would be something like playmate who is not the house ilharn." She paused "Ilharm is the one who is the matrons parzdiamo."

"Playmates"

"It means we sleep with each other and we do that."

"Yes we do and we have sex too."

That gained an eye roll.

"Did you try to castrate them or something.".

"A few .." she snorted, "It was the opposite actually most of the time. The killing bit. The Spiders kiss is what we call it, is a game where the female mates and then kills the male."

"That's not a bad way to live out your last hours"

Another reason not to get on her bad side he mused.

"Bull, how many playmates tried to kill you ?"

"None" I tend to leave them happy. Give 'em what they need and I get no complaints"

" That's a bit boring..."

"So what I do to you is boring?. Guess I'll have to rethink my methods."

"There is a thrill that comes with not knowing if the person in your bed is going to kill you. It's kind erotic in a way, everything flavored with danger"

Her eyes were closed now, as she took in a deep breath as if she was remembering something pleasurable.

_Now that's all kinds of fucked up._

Now time to move on but first...

"Kadan I am accepting of things but I have to get say getting off by killing someone is a bit much." He paused for a moment "except for dragons."

Though , it could be the reason why she was okay with having sex next to that dragons corpse after killing it. Or why she liked fucking after a fight. Often times directly after.

"It's not like that, it's the adrenaline and the danger itself not the actual killing, at least most of the time."

"I'll take your word for it"

"Besides sometimes just offing them is fun or maybe they deserved it." She cocked her head to the side slightly "sometimes it is for a job"

"Something tells me you are a woman with experience in this area."

He originally ment it as banter materiel and nothing more but that statement caused her to tense up.

_More secrets_.

"So these playmates are what humans call lovers?" He asked

She visibly relaxed at the change in topic.

She shook her head "We don't have a word for that and we rarely stay with one person typically to be even considered a lover. So I guess no. You are the closet thing I have had to a lover. Though there was a male who was to shire my daughters."

Bull cataloged the new information for later. He caught himself staring at her face to see if he could get a hint of how she was feeling. But, her expression was blank and her arms and shoulders were relaxed but for a moment there was a flicker of sorrow on her lovely face.

_She's hiding something. Always secrets with her._

She shrugged " We had a job to do, a duty so he was the only one having sex with me for a while"

Something about this topic made her. uncomfortable, that he could tell. A lie? She is explaining for her self more than for me. She is hiding something.

"Yah I get what you mean. It was a job nothing more "

If her life had been anything like that of being under the qun failure was not an option. So did they succeed ? or were they punished for failure?

He didn't ask her, from being around her he knew she didn't go into detail about her previous life and would not unless she felt it was needed. It was best to move on.

"We should get ready I don't want Josephine to come after me for making you late and Cullen said he wants to see you at the war table"

"Not on ? " She was smirking now " He enjoyed that last time."

"As did you, I bet I did you better."

"Not telling"

"So yes"

"I don't care enough to remember"

"Sure. Whatever you say Kadan"

She was looking away now.

_Embarrassed maybe ?_

She looked back at him a thoughtful expression on her face .

"Maybe I should try it again with each of you and take notes, Then give you my answer. I will ask him later."

"You can watch to see how he performs. Maybe give him a rating..."

He glared at her blood beginning to boil. But he tried to school his features. Before they had gotten to this point of the relationship He would have had not cared about who she slept with. But now...

Then, she laughed. It was musical and light At that he felt his anger fade as quickly as came at the sound.

"Calm down, Bull I'm not sleeping with him anymore. Unless, both of you say yes that is"

was he being that obvious?

Her slender hands found his larger ones.

"Though I have a hard time with this one person thing I respect you enough to cater to you .Besides, I am almost certain I will outlive you and when you die I will be able to sleep with whomever I want to. "

He didn't take it to heart like some may have. To him it implied that she was in it for the long haul and did not dance around the reality of their situation. He rarely wrong about these sorts of things and in this situation it made sense.They were in a world where anything could happen at any time.

"How are you so sure?"

" You attract trouble".

"So do you. Kadan, just remember if you want to end this before then you know what to say. "

"Unfortunately I can't say that, I'll do anything in my power to stop anyone seeing that stupid pout."

"I do not pout- "

"Yes you do"

She smiled bright and broad He pulled her into an embrace gently. His face in her hair, she smelled like sex, flowers and something else that reminded him of spices. Though she had both told and proven time and time again that her kind were sturdy. He felt like one wrong move and he would break her. As she was pulled in close , he felt her heart skip a beat and her breath involuntarily hitch. She relaxed in his arms.

"Now tough guy., tell me why Josephine and Cullen want me up so goddess be damned early up"

"You forgot ?"

"Your clan...well Maevera 's clan should be arriving soon. You should prepare and speak with cullen and Josephine before hand"

"Prepare ? its the same story the lost memory and such "

"Still preparation is - "

"I'm not some inexperienced drowling, it will be fine."

She said waving him off. He caught her hand and kissed it.

"If drowlings are children, you should know that you throw tantrums like one"

" Fuck you"

"You already did kitten"

"Kitten? "

"New name for you, I think it fits. You tend to purr when I touch you right . You tend to relax and curl up when you feel like it. You hiss and scratch when you are pissed. You bite but, not always because you are angry . "

He put a finger under her chin and tilted her head up and kissed her on the mouth. He wanted more and so did she but he also knew they shouldn't be late Doesn't mean he couldn't bother her a bit.

He ran his hand over her bare thighs then between them. Gentle feather light touches that got pleasing sounds out of her. He leaned in and kissed her. It was not a chaste kiss what so ever.The images in his head of what he wanted to do with her was making him ...excited.

"I would and want to continue but that would involve Josephine hunting us down and probably watching us because I wouldn't stop ." He said his lips brushing her pointed ear. Slightly jostling the earrings she had decorating it.

She frowned at him"We can be late"

She refuses to beg even now like always. Pridefulhe thought. Though she didn't say a word and her face was actually good at masking her emotions, her body said otherwise. Her pupils were dilated, her legs open and distinctly damp in between them and her breath came a bit heavy. She wanted him and ro be honest he wanted her.

But Bull just smiled back and kissed her hair.

"As terrified I am of you, Josephine is ten times worse when we are late to official meeting crap."

She let out a frustrated sigh "Fine. But let it be known you are a fucking asshole."

She wriggled from his grasp and got up from the bed. Her naked lithe body hidden somewhat behind her thick curly curtain of waist length hair.

She went over to the vanity, sat on the stool and began to brush her hair. Then she braided it and twisted it to a low bun. She secured it with the silver ribbon. But she didn't change her appearence yet, she just stared at herself in the mirror.

He knew without her telling him what she was thinking about.

"Kadan, May'dra you know as well as I do it is a mask and nothing more. Treat it like a job."

She didn't respond or even turn to look at him. With her hair out the way he could see the entirety of her body . Bull could not help but look at her . Part of him admiring the view of her backside. But the other part of him looking at the scars. Most shining silver or grey on her dark skin. From her shoulderblades down to her waist she was covered in them. Some thick and twisted and others thinner and faint. Some looked liked burn wounds, some resembled whip marks, others he didn't know what the hell they were from.

A warrior. A fighter.

"Bull.." She said finally. "I know you are staring" She turned around a small smile on her face. It was strained and didn't reach her eyes.

"Why wouldn't I stare its a nice view -"

Then he blinked and before he could finish his remark. The woman he was in bed with not too long ago was gone. The one left there was also naked but more on the skinny side then slender.Her skin ethereal pale skin, smooth and scarless. If she stood up she would be roughly a foot taller. Her ears had no piercings . Her hair red-gold , eyes forest green and the gold dalish tattoos were now proudly on her face. She was Maevera once more.

She looked at her hands, nails just as long as before but square and neat .Her black varnish and filed points gone.

"Well time to put on a show "

"That sort of show I would want to put on will require us both to stay naked and that probably wouldn't be appropriate. Besides we don't Mae's parents to be scarred for life. "

"If it stops me from feeling like this, I am okay with that."

"I am sure that Cassandra and Josephine would not appreciate it"

"I really wouldn't care"

"We have time later for that.Don't we."

Without another word

She stood up and walked to her wardrobe to pick out what she would wear.

She may have been slightly upset.Bull will probably pay for that later.

He did when she pulled him aside in a corner later in the day and he loved every moment of it.

Hassrad and May'dra

The qunari and The drow

The two liars

The two spies

The two actors

The two lovers

End Note :

So Inky is a drow, with a magical item. Don't worry has a whole bunch of drama and baggage following her, waiting for you discover. May'dra's item based off of this :https/magic-items/wondrous-items/h-l/hat-of-disguise/

The origin of which I will give later in story.

Translations

Nau: No

Phlar Lolth ssinssrickla : when lolth giggles. Kind nd of like saying. "when hell freezes over" it is considered blasphemous.

Dossta waela : you're foolish/you're an idiot

parzdiamo: or playmate or someone they sleep with. Sort of like friends with benefits without the friends part. Most words with that refer to friends are meant to be sarcastic 99 percent of the time. This word typically refers to males in that the females are the ones that usually initiates the partnership, often the male does not have a choice.

Ilharm: patron of the house or in other words the matron's parzdiamo .

khal'abbil : A non-sarcastic way of saying trusted comrade/companion (the only one I could find )

Ussta: my

Dorn inbau phor : I will get up

ln'hyrr: liar

The spiders kiss : A game popular with female drow. As stated the female will toy with the male, sleep with, then kill him. "The spider that mates then kills" - quote from DOTD

Hopefully I portrayed bull well enough. I also kind of suck at romance stuff so suggestions are appreciated.

Extra:

Drow languages

https/forgottenrealms./wiki/Drow_dictionary

https/arelith./DrowishTranslator

Elf languages

(Thedas )

Project Elvhen (found on AO3)

Elvhen dai translator (lingo jam)

(Ferun)

https/forgottenrealms./wiki/Elven_dictionary

http/library/articles/diction_elf./CommontoElvish%28D%26D%29


	5. To Keeper Lavellan

_Keeper Istimaethoriel Lavellan_

,

_My condolences on all that you and your clan had to endure in the past few months. The members of the inquisition want you know that we have fortunately came across a member of your clan. A young woman named Maevera. Don't worry keeper, the young woman is not being held against her will or under ransom. She is treated rather kindly and with respect from many. Dearest Lavellan, be proud to learn that she is the leader of the inquisition and may be the key to our salvation. She would have have written this letter he self but fears to under the circumstances.__It was noted that with on her awakening with the anchor on her arm that her behavior was strange. After an in depth analysis it seems that most or if not all of her memory of the past is gone. She retained little no knowledge about history, people, events, or even the year. Her common was unsteady and her elvhen even worse. I don't even think she remembers you. She remembered her name and a few other because within her things there was a journal and the information it held had been helpful. I believe she only knows what is in that book. Lavellan she didn't want to hurt you or the rest of the clan so I am writing instead to inform you of her survival. In the future I am sure she would like to hear back from you and even A visit to skyhold may put our lady inquisitor in good spirits.__I hope that this reaches you well and as you dalish say__Dareth shiral__Lady Josephine Montilyet__Ambassador and chief diplomat of the Inquisition_.

**\- Letter sent to the keeper of Clan Lavellen a few weeks after the appearance of inquisitor Lavellen.**

The man was ageing but still spry. His hair was now completely grey, the lines of his face told stories about the life he lived. His skin was weathered and there was solemness about him. Even so, his eyes and tongue were still as sharp as they were when he was young.

Some of the hunters informed him of intruders near their camp. Shemlen intruders. Very concerning in these troubling times, as they didn't need any more heart break.

But they came, not with weapons raised but rather a letter. A letter on thick parchment, sealed with wax and with words that left him feeling lighter.

"Da'len bring Adhon at once" he said to one of the hunters" A young woman her vallaslin still fresh in her face. But her face seemed almost as weary as his. "Tell him that his bond-mate lives" he said with a smile on his face.

"Tell the clan that one of our own has not been lost"

Notes:

Translations

Shemlen : quick children/ humans

Da'len child / little one

Vallaslin blood writing

Bond mate : marriage partner

Dareth shiral: safe journey


	6. preconceptions

**The dalish**

I can feel them staring at us" Isenne whispered " I don't like it".

Her blue eyes flicked over to the elvhen man next to her. Altogether there were ten of them. Ten brave individuals from their clan including the keeper . Ten chosen because of their relationship with Maevera.They were here to see the child, the friend, the lover they lost. The keeper decided it was only right to come when the situation was handled for their safety. As as to avoid distracting there beloved Maevera from her duties. They walked through skyhold massive gates in a close group with their keeper at the lead.

Traditional clothing, jewelry and armour adorned their bodies. Vallishins worn proudly on their faces. They were dalish, raised to be proud of who they were. Regardless of what the Shemlen or the flat-ears thought of them.

"You are imagining it" Fellhen whispered. He was tall for an elf. His hair dark and often messy and his brown eyes always expressive. June's Vallishins in red ink on his olive skin.

"Yeah, tell yourself that" Isenn answered back. She was blond,trim and lean . Mythal's markings in black on her face framed her cheeks. A scar ran across her face.

Isenn and Fellhan were both childhood friends of Maevera. Though they heard the unfortunate news regarding her memory they jumped at the opportunity to see her.

"It could be that they are wondering what the strange elves are whispering about in there foreign tongue." Said Istimaethoriel in common. His voice as usual sounded soft and grandfatherly.

"They could be plotting to attack the inquisitor or are here to steal babies"

The two young elves fell silent.

"You are here amongst shemlem who have preconceived notions about us. Please remember that our behavior is being scrutinized every moment we are here. Something as simple as whispering in our mother tongue can rouse suspicion amongst the shemlen"

"Keeper we did didn't -" said Fellhen

"Da'len" it is alright you caused no offense. Just keep it in mind."

They continued walking through the court yard in silence. But their minds were busy taking in all that they saw.The walls of skyhold were imposing but looked cold and confining compared to the forest. Shemlen warriors stood on either side of them escorting them up to the main hall. Those same warriors gripped their weapons, tense as if they were going to attack.

They were told that some rooms were prepared for them to stay in and that they should rest up a bit until the inquisitor her inner circle called for them. Surprisingly they were offered food and drink while they waited.

"These rooms are huge and the beds are so soft. I feel like a noble women" said Isleen.

"You mean you feel like a spoiled shemlen" said Adlon.

Both Isleen and Fellhen were in his room, they were here to comfort him he knew. Though he knew they had good intentions, their presence felt stifling and made him irritable.

"I can't like soft beds and large bedrooms now?"

"No"

An awkward silence filled the room. After a few heartbeats, it was Fellhen who broke it.

"How are you doing ?" asked Fellhen

Adlon sat on the bed "Honestly I am terrified but at the same time happy." He played with the ring on his finger. The rings of the bonding came in sets of two. One was supposed to be on his bondmate's hand." I get to see her again but what if she-" his voice cracked and he tried again " what if she doesn't remember me? Or does not want me?

Fellhen, sat next to his friend on the bed and rested a hand on his shoulder. A sad smile gracing his lips. Isleen moved closer to them but continued standing.

"If she doesn't remember" said Fellhen. "Then we help her."

* * *

**Cullen**

"You wanted to see me?' Said Maevera as she walked towards the war table, with her familiar cocky swagger.

"You're late" said Cassandra her voice stern.

Maevera rested her hands on the table. She smiled at him.

"I was busy doing... something."

**Her body laid out on the war table. Red-gold hair splayed out around her loosely except for a few strands were plaited in a small braid. A golden ribbon woven into it.The pieces that normally were on the war table were scattered on the floor. His face in between her spread legs, she gasped as-**

He should be not thinking of that especially since the something she was doing was a someone that was not him. When she decided she wanted to end it, it broke his heart. But, that didn't mean he still didn't love her or was not attracted to her.

He cleared his throat.

Cassandra made her trademark disgusted noise.

"No true harm done, this means we have to make this meeting as concise as possible" said Josephine.

"The first thing actually has to with the something you are doing and those you have done in the past to put it frankly."

Cullen felt his face heat up.

Her expression was unreadable "What is this about?" She folded her arms in front of her chest.

"Rumours" said Cassandra as much I would like to think that we live in modern times. A woman seen as openly promiscuous as the leader of the inquisition has been sending the wrong message and is now causing negative feedback"

"It has actually gotten worse since you have been ...uh with The Iron Bull " Josephine added cutting in.

"Who I sleep with and who I have slept with in the past is not for them to judge." She shrugged seemingly unconcerned.

"That's the thing, as silly as it sounds orlesian nobility are willing to take away their support rather than being associated with that kind of woman. Image is everything. "

Annoyance was clearly on her face now "Image is everything, That's why I only sleep with attractive people."

Her green eyes looked over him, his heart began to race.

"That's not what we mean" snapped Cassandra.

"What do you mean then?"

"It means that our reputation is being damaged and we are losing support. It can be mitigated through." Josephine said quickly.

"Do I want to know how?"

" Marriage. By marrying a respectable nobleman or even just marry for a alliance that ben-"

"No. That is final. Orlesian Nobles are not our only supporters, we will be fine"

"It's not just them trust me. Many of our contacts don't want to be associated with that kind of woman. In the end you may not get a choice. They are already taking away support from us. You decided that the inquisition needs to remain in existence but your hard work will be wasted if you ignore this."

She was quiet and stony faced for a moment the she squared her shoulders and spoke.

"Let's talk about this some other day we have things that need to be done. What else did you have to mention.

Josephine nodded " Of course"

He knew she must be upset,quite honestly he wouldn't like it either. But she didn't show it. As usual she was collected.

_I would be jealous of the man that gets_ he thought. Well he was honestly jealous of the man who was in her bed now. He was so engrossed in thought that he didn't realise that Josephine was calling him.

"Are you alright commander?" asked Maevera.

"Yes, just tired that's all"

She raised an eyebrow but didn't press him.

Commander did you have something to say. Oh, right.

He cleared his throat "Have you heard of a country called Ferun?"

She twitched slightly. "In the passing "

"There has been reports of them coming in droves. Many are wondering if this will become an issue. The reports of what comes from there land are as about a reasonable as varric's books"

"How is that our issue?"

"Because we should look in to them and keep an eye on them in case trouble starts. Furthermore we may be called to arms if needed."

"Wait they are taking away support because of who I have sex with but,they may need to our support to keep a few assholes in line. Ridiculous"

"I kno-"

A knock came at the door. " Come in " said Cassandra.

A serving girl slipped inside " I-I I am sorry for in-interrupting"she said with a wobbly curtsy. "But I-I am here to i-inform you th-that the dalish are here"

Maevera grinned " Good, we can leave this stupidity until later then."

She turned headed out of the door, leaving everyone in the room. Cullen would be lying to himself if his eyes did not follow her out.

**May'dra**

May'dra to be honest was very annoyed as she walked to her meeting with her advisors. He was the first and only male in her short 78 years of life that she allowed to tease her . Though, she will admit getting her worked up throughout the day made the nights with him very pleasurable . kivvin were different, their males more aggressive and willing to play little games that were fun even if killing was not involved. Fun with out murder, imagine that.

Bull was not the first kivvel she slept with and not the first non-drow. Up here on the surface, a woman had limited choices in males. Especially in Thedas where drow were practically unheard of. So once in a while she nabbed the stray male that was decently attractive, who caught her eye for entertainment. Though she had her limits and basic standards. No darthiir ever.

As she walked to the room that held the war table she tried to ignore the images forming in her mind, the dampness between her legs and the prickling of her skin.

And failed

_F'sarn aluin ulu elgg ukta. _she thought

She couldn't walk around like this. Well she could. But she would feel the urge to just do someone just to take the edge off. The males here didn't take to kindly to being ordered to her bed.

She slipped into the war room where her advisors waiting. Josephine hand clutched her clip board tightly . Cassandra looked more annoyed than usual. Cullen at the moment because of her sorry state looked like one of her toys.

You're late said Cassandra

"I was busy...doing something" A lie of course but a fun one. Her eyes met cullen's. Her mind switched from the things she could do with Bull to things she could and had done with Cullen.

Like them on top of the war table. In her life Cullen was one one of the four males she let on top of her. Sure with cullen and one of the other males she only let them do it once but it was still significant in her book. Drow females didn't like it when males were above them even in something as basic as being intimate. For one, it's apart of the game as many females found it easier to kill the male from on top . The other thing was dominance and the symbolism of a male on top of a female.

The other two males were a different story. She let them take that dominating position and others. Over and over.

* * *

**_Feather light kisses up from between her legs up to her navel. Cullen stood up fully and leaned over the table and kissed her. She besides herself closed her eyes. He pulled her body so that her legs were off the table. She sighed, she was still sensitive but that was fine. Her eyes still closed. She then felt him enter her. It was not unwanted really but, it the fact he was on top of her she didn't like . Culturally this was against all she was taught. Her body involuntarily tensed up._**

_**Then she remembered the others she granted that privilege of perceived dominance.****Gentle hands as dark as her own caressed her body.**_

**_The male's voice whispering in her ear.A mouth kissing down her throat. Teeth and tongue tracing shapes on her neck._**

**_Strong arms wrapped around her midsection as the male took her from behind. Her body burned with pleasure as he made her an incoherent mess._**

**_Cinnabar limbs. The distinct smell of cinnamon as he held her to her chest. The male's warm fingers stroking her back in lazy circles._**

Good memories. Satisfying even.

**But she also remembered the ones she didn't that who took the privilege without her permission. They were granted it from someone else, demeaning her. punishment.** Pain.

**_Hands forcefully holding her legs open not for the first, nor the last, another set holding her down by her shoulders and while male in front thr-_**

**_"Everything all right Maevera?" He said breaking her from her thoughts. He had removed himself from her nearly as soon as she tensed "We can stop, if you want to." Cullen was gentle and was often concerned about her, which was different but not completely foreign to her. She was with someone like this a long time ago._**

**_The truth was that she didn't want him to stop but in the back of her mind she knew what this ment.you wouldn't understand, you are not drow._**

**_"No I just remembered something that's all her voice strangely hollow even to herself. "_**

**_Cullen frowned_**

**_She mirrored his expression briefly before saying "Just fuck me already! " Ah, Common. All sorts of fun new words . That four lettered one she was particularly fond of._**

**_He kissed her lips gently and felt her self sigh against his mouth involuntarily. She closed her eyes._**

**_I'm so vulnerable right now. He could kill me.she thought. She could kill him with her "gifts" but that brought risks._**

**To them she fought with long wickedly curved daggers, dexterity, cunning, and speed . Not with magic. Here magic was feared, so much so that she would never used basic magic all of her kind had. Besides the magic she knew was different from theirs. No "pulling- from-the-fade, risk-of- demon- possession- nonsense". No matter, she was never THAT good at casting and compared to others of her rank knew little. To be honest magic and her always had a complicated relationship. Though it would be nice to use her talents.**

**_She fought the urge to forcefully switch places with him. She had to remember he didn't play her kind's games and he was not doing it to punish her._**

**_She felt him enter her once more she could not help the moan that escaped her lips. All doubts erased from her mind because by the goddess it felt good. It came to a point during their "meeting on the war table" that nearly uncontrollably she couldn't help it , she was reverting to her native tongue. By this point, not really caring if he heard. He would question her later about what she said but she would brush him off._**

**_Then even words failed her as she reached her peak.Her moans came faster in succession as he increased his-_**

* * *

Out of her musings, she looked at Cullen if he only knew her thoughts right now. Would he want to be dragged off to her room or would he want her on the table like before.

But Bull was her current toy and would be the only male that she would take to bed...for now. It was apart of their agreement, one thing part of her loathed. There had been a time when she was sleeping with both of them which was fun. But that was before Bull had gotten serious with her and spoken to her about it. In her opinion as long as both males knew their place and knew they were both hers it was fine to her but, surfacers didn't think like that. How very inconvenient.

The meeting was stupid, ridiculous and involving things no sheml- fuck she was starting to speak like these darthiir. _Darthiir not shemlen, b__etter much better._ These rivvil were involving themselves in things that didn't concern them. Idiots were complaining about who she slept with but not of the possible danger of...Ferun.

When the name of the country she was from came from the commanders pretty mouth she nearly froze.

She knew one thing. If anyone in Ferun came to start trouble in Thedas they would win. Thedas was not built like Ferun, not even close.

A disturbing thought came to her but she pushed it away. It made her anxious and she knew the more she thought of it the worse it would become. Would the people she ran away from -Yes the great and beautiful May'dra Zau'ana Xorrilien ran- take interest in this land? Would they find her?

No.

Nau.

By the goddess no. She couldn't go back to-.

She pushed the thoughts aside.

She pushed her fears aside.

For now, she focused on nothing except for her task of meeting Meavera's clan. For at this moment it was the most important thing to be concerned with at the moment.

* * *

Notes:

I hope you don't get confused she will be called May'dra when she is not using the ribbon and Maevera when she is.

Tell me, what you think of May'dra so far.

* * *

Translations:

Da'len :child/ young one

Shemlen: quick children/ humans

Darthiir : surface elves

Rivvil: human

Kivvin : surfacer

Kivvil: surfacers

F'sarn aluin ulu elgg ukta: I am going to kill him

Nau: No

* * *

some notes : Drow can live as long as normal elves in dnd, around 1000 but because of (at least in the underdark in many cities) the chaotic nature of their culture, they tend not to live to there predicted age. In short may'dra is still very young to drow standards. I would assume that most in Thedas would not know this. another thing I will note that drow females seem to be very sexually liberated. in general they can make their own choices of who they want to be with and they are not judged by wanting to sleep with others. however who they sleep with maybe Judged (in appearance , power , skills) and the children(if any are born) that come out of the union.

The bold italics are memories

This chapter was actually hard for me. Originally, I was supposed to put up a different chapter regarding something else but, I realized that it may be necessary before hand.

-vintage


End file.
